How To Get Along With Anyone At Work

We spend far too much time at work to be surrounded by people that drive us crazy. If you’re struggling with a challenging colleague, rest assured, you’re definitely not alone.

94 per cent of people say they’ve worked with a toxic person in the last five years, and 1 in 3 people have left a job due to an annoying coworker.

In this article, we’re going to share five simple tips for managing difficult colleagues that anyone can use to build better relationships at work.

Tip 1: It’s All About Perspective

It’s easy to think that your view is the only one that counts, but it’s important to remember that everyone has their own perspective.

Often, when someone else has a different opinion, we get fixated on thinking we’re right and they’re wrong. However, it’s always worth taking the time to listen to other people’s perspectives. They may have insights you haven’t thought of, based on their own unique experiences.

It’s essential to continually challenge your own beliefs. It helps you to understand why you think the way you do, and how your own experiences and background have shaped your views.

It’s important to remember that your point of view is just that… a view from a point, and it’s okay if other people see things differently.

Tip 2: You’re On The Same Team

Don’t view tough situations at work as a fight between you and others.

Rather than viewing difficult coworkers as enemies, try to see them as colleagues with whom you share a problem to be solved. You and your coworkers are all part of the same team, so if you can avoid an “us versus them” mentality, it will make the workplace a more pleasant place for everyone.

For example, if a team member is resisting change, don’t see it as a personal attack. Try to understand their concerns and include them in creating a solution. This can make them feel important and more willing to work with you towards common goals.

If you sit down with your colleague and discuss where you both see things differently, you can find a way forward that is good for both of you.

Tip 3: Keep Experimenting

Dealing with difficult people is unique to each person and situation. You need to be open-minded and ready to try different strategies to find what’s best for you and your team.

Evaluate each tactic you use and learn from what goes well and what doesn’t. Change your approach based on feedback and results. For example, if being direct and strong doesn’t work with a team member, try a cooperative and supportive style. Watch how they react and change your approach if you need to.

Keep trying, changing, and repeating successful experiments, and be prepared to stop those that don’t work. For example, if a colleague doesn’t do what they’ve agreed to, even after you send post-meeting emails to confirm, don’t keep sending emails expecting a different outcome. Try something else.

Tip 4: Stay Curious

When dealing with difficult coworkers, it’s easy to think “this is the way it’s always going to be” and that things won’t change.

Instead, try to adopt a curious mindset.

Research shows that there are lots of benefits to being curious at work. It enables us to deal with tough situations creatively and prevents us from making assumptions or being defensive.

For example, if a colleague starts complaining about their workload, don’t jump to conclusions. Ask yourself, what’s going on with them? Why are they acting like this?

By remembering to stay curious, you reframe the situation so your starting point is that there’s always something you could learn, and there’s got to be a way to turn things around.

Tip 5: Voice Your Thoughts

If you find yourself in a situation where a co-worker makes your working environment uncomfortable, you might have to address the issue directly.

When you’re trying to explain how you feel about someone’s actions, it’s really important to use “I” statements. This helps them see things from your point of view. If you use “you” statements, it can make it harder for them to realise how their behaviour affects you.

To give you an idea of the difference between “I” and “you” language, here are a few examples:

Instead of saying, “You always say the wrong things,” you might say, “I feel upset when you talk to me in that manner.”

Another example is “I find that your behaviour makes it hard for me to concentrate,” instead of saying, “The way you act is irritating.”

By focusing on your feelings about their behaviour, rather than making accusatory statements, you can express your feelings without blaming the other person.

No matter what kind of difficult colleague you’re dealing with, keeping these five tips in mind will improve your chances of building stronger and more successful relationships at work.